Issues

Sitting here at work tonight I'm confronted with the fact that I still have pretty major issues with food. The isolation of graveyard shift has brought it to light. There is always food in dispatch, most of the time it's no good. Candies, cookies, chocolate. Left overs from the last party, etc. This is a recipe for disaster.

I'm alone. I like being alone, sometimes. But I don't like feeling isolated. I know that doesn't make sense. BUT, I feel isolated. It's me, the late night TV, internet, and junk food. Throw in some late night emergencies, calls for any type of assistance and I'm right back to the adrenaline dump syndrom. I look forward to the time the graveyards are over. I've said it before. Food is the lover that doesn't leave. I'd like to think I have more tools to deal with this addiction. I do. However the past couple of days I've given in, over and over again. Perhaps it's the lack of human interaction at night. Perhaps, and probably more to the point it's an oportunity for me to look at my relationship with food once again.

Up until this point I've used my food addiction as a catalyst for changing my eating habits, my health. I'm still obsessed with food. I changed the focus of the obsession from what tasted and felt decadent in my mouth to what looked great, tasted great, and helped me look great. Am I ready to let go of food? My constant companion. Results from the last couple of days would say no. What's a girl to do?

I know one thing for certain. I've got a month left of this late night stuff, and nothing but time on my hands while at work to figure it out.

Stay tuned.

Much love,
Alisha