of the blog that is. I've been super cranky today, Almost on the verge of tears? Why? I could say I don't know, but the truth of the matter is that the list is long, and full of self pitty. So I'll spare the details and sum it up.
While I DO know who I AM, and in the big picture I also know why I'm here. In this moment I feel not enough. All aspects of my life I feel I fall short. I know, waa waaa waaa-mbulance.
On the weight front, I still had a pepsi today, but I didn't get coffee to go to work with. I've had my eight 8 oz glasses of water, and I'm currently working on 20 oz more. So, yay for me!
Work with two of my favorite co-workers is nice. I get to come, and talk, laugh, and be serious almost simultaneously. 911 dispatchers I think may have to have some sort of split personality, to be able to switch off the gales of laughter in an instant to soberly answer the phone for someones possible emergency. Since I took this job a little over 2 years ago, I've put on about 50 pounds. I was pregnant with my son when I started, so I'm not actually counting the baby weight. After I had him, and before I returned to work, I was able to take some of the weight off, but then once I returned to work the size of my waisteband has grown exponentially. The job is mostly sedentary, ok, all sedentary. When the phone rings or when a person has "that tone" in their voice, the one that lets you know they're in crisis, it truly gets the blood pumping. My adrenaline spikes and I have no outlet for the energy, so, barring getting up and running around the room, somewhat like a chicken with her head cut off, I have turned to food. I bring it with me, I share it. I EAT it. All the time.
Like I said, the lover that doesn't leave. It loves me at work, it loves me at home, it loves me when I'm with others and when I'm alone. And... I think... it prefers me fat. LOL...
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