Weighing in

250.0 this morning! I'm so very excited! I started really keeping track a month ago, and in that month I have let go of 25 pounds! I'm watching what I eat, counting calories (which I say again, is suprisingly easy) check out http://www.fatsecret.com/ Their website is easy to use, and they have an app for most smart phones. I'm now walking 4 miles most every day. I'm jogging parts of this walk, and I'm able to do it in about an hour.

I'm meeting with challenges along the way. One such challenge is actually my 8 year old daughter. She doesn't enjoy the time that I spend walking. I attempted to have her and my 2 year old son come along on a walk the other day. We went to the local high school running track. I let the kids loose in the grassy area of the football field. My 2 year old was in 7th heaven, running up and down the field, playing in the sand of the pole vaulty place. My 8 year old was miserable. "There's nothing to do!" "I'm BORED" "Mom, Stop please!" Needless to say I wasn't really able to focus on the exercise portion of the walk, and she won... I'm going to do it again this week, on one of my days off. I get to do this. Not only for me, but for her. I could go back to that sedentary mom she is used to, but I wouldn't be around for her to be used to if I do.

Meal planning is also a challenge for me. I'm ok with breakfasts, I can always find something that is good for me and healthy to have in the morning. My problems come in at lunch time, when I've failed to prepare my lunch for the day, and I'm at work. I'm not typically making enough dinner to have left overs, which in a way is good, because I don't enjoy left overs most of the time. BUT, this leaves me scrambling to find something, or, in most cases going out for a subway sandwich. I'm getting tired of those, so I truly deserve to get off my arse and get the lunch thing figured out.

I've also been posting my exercise and some of my meals to my facebook status. I've never posted my starting weight. Having hit the 25 pound mark, I really want to, and I really don't want to post my starting weight. Part of me thinks go ahead do it, I was trying to be on the biggest loser, where the nation could see it, what's a couple hundred of my closest friends? There is still the other part of me, slightly embarassed by the fact that I've gotten so large, that doesnt' want to admit to the world how much I weighed, and still weigh.

That's funny, it's not like they can't see it! It's in the spare tire I carry around my waiste, and in the extra chin I have perched right there under my first one.

Also, I want to make it clear. I am doing all of this because I LOVE ME! I looked in the mirror one day, even in all of my extra baggage glory, and I saw that spark I'd buried. I saw that piece of the Divine that I hold, that is only mine. I decided at that point to honor my I AM. Treat this body I've been given with respect. I DID NOT, look in the mirror and decide to change because I was repulsed or othewise disgusted with my appearance. I deserve to be healthy, I deserve to see my children grow up, I deserve to play with grandchildren one day. I deserve to have a love relationship in my life. I deserve to have a body that can keep up with all the adventures I can imagine. All these things are mine. I'm just claiming them now.

xoxoxo

Eek! I was going to post the new weight on Sunday... Tuesday is close enough, Right? Well, of course it is, because it's my blog! so there!  :D

Sunday morning I stepped on the scales and was met with a LOVELY 255 lbs. For those of you keeping track, that is 20 lbs difference! Can I get a hell yah! a huzzah! a woot woot! 

Maybe it's a little overboard, but I'm very excited about this change! I'm hoping it continues along this path. I'll post new measurements as soon as I take them... and I'll post the old ones too, just for comparison.

Until then... xoxo

I go out walking...

Well, I didn't go out walking yesterday. I used the excuse that it was too windy.  Well it was VERY windy, but I still could have gone out walking. Eh, it's the past, and what is it the Pumba from the lion king says, the past is in your behind? Something like that.

So, in this moment, I recommit to my walk. I'll take my children to their grandparents house and I will walk. I may even jog if my lungs aren't killing me. I want to be able to run. I've never been a runner, but I dream of running.

This morning was a pretty significant milestone. Wanna know what it was? Too bad, going to tell you anyway. But first, a little background. Last September my mother and I took a trip to Vegas, a girls only trip, to celebrate our birthdays. While we were there we went shopping (duh, right?) Well, I got brand new bras. Let me tell you this is no small feat when you are a big girl, and even worse when you are a big girl with little boobs. So, we 're perusing the racks at Lane Bryant, and I ask for a bra fitting. Much to my shock and horror, I am told I am a 46 to 48 B. Well, the bras at LB are generous, and they actually go up to a 44 in the styles that come in B cup. hmm... what to do with those extra 4 inches? Squeeze them into the bra, and have the sides roll up on me and not be able to breath? Go without a bra? Wear sports bras and have "uniboob" for the rest of my life. NO I SAY! I bought bra extenders. You know, those things you clip on the back of your bra to make them wider. Yeah.

Today, I measured my rib cage. 44 inches. Yes, this is still large, however, my bras now fit, with out this extender nonsense! I'm feeling free and confindent in my 44B sans extender today. I'm a sexy biotch!

New Beginnings, and Updates...

This time around I started my journey with my weight at 275 pounds. Nearly the largest I have ever been, which was 288 pounds. But, once my body gets this large, what's plus or minus 13 pounds, right?

I detest traditional dieting, I've been very resistant to counting calories. I thought I could just watch what I ate, maybe have smaller portions and everything would work out in the end, the weight would eventually come off. I think, it may be possible, that I was wrong.

I still won't do a "diet" someone elses plan to lose weight, but I am counting calories. I cannot explain the level of accountability knowing that I am going to be recording everything that I eat. Now instead of "mmm... that looks good, think I'll eat it," I think "hmm... I wonder how many calories that is, and if it's worth it, and do I really want to admit to myself that I ate it?" If it's good for me, the answer is yes. If it's bad for me, well, sometimes the answer is still yes, but in MUCH less quantity.

I tend to think that the things we create to be better for us than the real thing (IE equal, in place of sugar, or margarine in place of butter) really aren't better for us than the real thing. I believe the key must be moderation. I used equal, or splenda, but sparingly, the same way I've come to use sugar.

It's been about a month now that I've really been watching what I eat, tracking calories, making sure I'm getting some form of exercise, and I have gotten rid of some weight... How much?  I'll let you know on Sunday when I weigh... but I think you may be suprised...

Until then...