The Queen of Almost

Not a whole lot has changed since my last post. I have done a lot of soul searching. Looking for that thing, that belief that is holding me back. Today I more deeply realized something I've known for a while. I don't complete things.

All sorts of things. Everything from the afghan I started crocheting when my son was still enutero, to my associates degree. I get so close to goals that I can taste them and then I don't finish. That chapter of my life gets to come to a close. It must.

I recently helped organize a 5k race, the proceeds went to an amazing charity. Pennies For Heroes. When you have a chance please check them out, they are an amazing organization, with a vision to assist the families of fallen officers, soldiers, and firefighters.

While organizing this event I felt great, the closer to completion that we got the more nervous I got. I wanted to quit. I had a heart to heart with another of the organizers. I confided in him that I had done my life up until this point "half assed" and it was time that I showed the world, and myself, that I am no longer that woman. That I see things through, that I am a success, not "almost" a success.

That's where I am with this weight journey. I've been within 20 pounds of the goal, gotten scared, started eating somewhat like I used to, stopped the food journal, slacked at the gym. Now, I'm back to with in 30 pounds of the goal.

The difference is that I SEE IT this time. I am finding what my triggers are and how I have traditionally dealt with them. I'm now finding new ways to deal with them. Things that are positive and reinforcing to the life I deserve. I know the importance of recommitting. I also know that it doesn't matter where I've been, or how much I've accomplished, what truly matters is what I'm doing right now.

I am going to have a celebration of my life, and a welcoming of my new life. I am going to do this when I reach my goal weight of 135 pounds.

Another thing I've never been particularly fond of is written goals. A friend told me today that goals, not written down, are nothing but wishes. I hadn't ever thought of it that way. But found it to be profound, and absolutely true.

So, what are my new goals, and am I writing them down, am I clear and consise? Am I committed? Am I ready to take massive action? YES! YES! YES!

I am going to have my party on or before September 17th, 2011. In the time between now and then I am going to release the last 30 pounds to my goal weight. I am going to stare this Queen of Almost in the face, and CHANGE HER STORY.

I'm starting now.

Love,
Alisha
xoxoxoxo