Hell

For the past two weeks I've been in calorie counting hell. Actually maybe it's not calorie counting hell, maybe it's carbohydrate hell, or just over eating hell. Whatever it is it's hell.


I have started working out two times a day. Maybe my body is needing the extra energy. Either way I feel like the combination of working graveyards, physical activity, lack of sleep, and increased eating has made me feel rather... poopy.

I'm not giving up the two a days. I enjoy the work outs way too much. I'm open to the possibility that my body needs extra energy, so I'll re-look at my calories/eating habits.

I've never been this close to a "goal weight" before. My fear is that I may be sabotaging myself. So, that put out there, I can let go of that fear and remind myself of what my goals are, refocus and recommit.

I bought some new pants at Walmart (yes, Walmart, I'd rather shop elsewhere, but when jeans are only $12 and your on a fixed income you can't beat what they have to offer) I took size 8 and size 6 into the fitting room with me, totally expecting that the 6 would not zip or button. They did both! They're not too tight either. I do have a muffin top, but I have a muffin top in my size 10's and my size 12's that fall off. Why? Because I have all this excess skin I gotta get rid of. I'll take it though. I'd rather have the skin all loose and charpei looking than full and round and ... yeah, you get the picture. I'm confident that the work outs will tone some of this up, and eventually if needed I'll have the money to get a new belly... and some boobs. I used to have fairly nice ones... now I just have the bags they came in. Oh well. :) I really hope you're laughing right now.

Bring on a new week. I'm ready!
 
Much love,
Alisha xoxoxo